Terms of use

Your right to cancel. You, the buyer, may cancel this agreement with [legal name of Isaac’s Well], without any penalty or obligation, at any time before midnight of the third business day after you receive a copy of these terms by email. Business days are Monday to Friday, not counting holidays. To cancel, email [cancel@ address], or mail or deliver a signed and dated notice saying that you are canceling to [legal name of Isaac’s Well] at [postal address]. You may use the [Notice of Cancellation form]. Any payment you made is returned within ten business days.

YOU, THE BUYER, MAY CANCEL THIS CONTRACT WITHOUT ANY CANCELLATION FEE WITHIN THREE (3) BUSINESS DAYS AFTER THE DATE OF THIS CONTRACT. SEE THE ATTACHED NOTICE OF CANCELLATION FORM FOR AN EXPLANATION OF THIS RIGHT.

Please also read the [Dating Service Consumer Bill of Rights].

In short. Isaac’s Well is a meeting place for unmarried members of Reformed Baptist churches, each affirmed by their own elders. Joining costs a one-time fee of [$10] or less, waived on your pastor’s word and refunded if your elders do not affirm you. Membership renews free each year your elders renew their affirmation. Your elders see your application and nothing more, except in the few cases section 12 sets out. We run no background checks, and an elder’s affirmation is not a guarantee, so take your time and seek counsel. Report anything that troubles you, and in danger call 911. If you and we ever disagree, write to us first. We offer Christian mediation at our cost, and the courts stay open to you. You may leave at any time.

These are the terms every member agrees to when they join. They are a draft for the working group and for the lawyer who must review them before Isaac’s Well opens (charter 9.13). Nothing in them is adopted yet.

1. Please read this first

1. ISAAC’S WELL DOES NOT CONDUCT CRIMINAL BACKGROUND SCREENINGS OF ITS MEMBERS. We search no criminal record, court record or sex offender registry.
2. An elder’s affirmation is not a guarantee of anyone’s character or safety (section 5).
3. These notices are shown on the joining page and in the box you tick to join, and a short form of them on every profile.

2. Agreeing to these terms

1. These terms are an agreement between you and [legal name], the Tennessee nonprofit corporation that runs Isaac’s Well (“we” or “us”).
2. You accept them, with the code of conduct and the privacy notice, by ticking a box when you join. We record the version and the time, email you a copy at once, and send notices to that address.
3. Isaac’s Well is not a church and exercises no church discipline (charter 1.6). Your elders, your church, RBNet and FIRE are not parties to these terms and guarantee nothing. An affirmation is given in good faith as pastoral care (charter 4.7).

3. Who may join

1. You must be at least 18; legally unmarried, with any divorce final; a member in good standing of a church of RBNet, of FIRE or of another church the board admits (charter 4.1 and 4.2); free to marry, in your elders’ judgment; seeking marriage between one man and one woman (charter 3.4); and affirmed as all of this by your own elders.
2. You may hold one membership only, in your own true name.

4. Joining and affirmation

1. Your application. You truthfully give your name, date of birth, email address and marital history, and whether you have children. You choose your church from our list of confirmed churches, and never give us an elder’s contact details (charter 4.6).
2. Your consent to tell your elders. By applying, you consent in writing to our sending your application to your church’s affirming elder. Your elders see only that. They are not told whom you are interested in, or who is interested in you, except as sections 12.7 and 12.8 say (charter 6.1).
3. Affirmation. Your elders confirm that you are at least 18, legally unmarried, in good standing and free to marry. An elder does not affirm his own relative. Where a church has only one elder, he may affirm his relative, and the chairman, or another director if the chairman is related, confirms the affirmation with him by telephone (charter 4.6). No one sees your profile until you are affirmed.
4. A year at a time. Membership runs one year from affirmation, and renews free when your elders renew it. If they do not, your profile is hidden and we email you at once. If it stays hidden for [12] months, we write again, and your membership ends [30] days later. A delay in renewal is never counted against you (charter 5.5).
5. If your elders do not affirm you, your fee is refunded, and we do not ask why. They may withdraw their affirmation at any time, without giving a reason (charter 5.4).
6. A counselor. You may name a father, guardian or other counselor, whose name and relationship your elders confirm. Your counselor accepts a short confidentiality undertaking, is told of each mutual interest and is copied on each introduction. They learn only the other member’s first name, church and profile summary, never their messages. By showing interest in a member who has named one, you agree to that (charter 6.3).

5. What affirmation does not mean

1. Every profile leads with “Affirmed by their elders as a member in good standing, free to marry.” That is all it means. It vouches for no one’s character, safety, honesty or suitability as a husband or wife (charter 5.2).
2. So take your time, seek counsel (Proverbs 15:22), and get to know someone well, in person, before you trust them.

6. Staying safe

1. Our safety awareness notice is shown when you join and linked from every page. It says:
   • Anyone able to steal an identity can also invent a profile. Affirmation makes this harder, but not impossible.
   • There is no substitute for acting with caution when communicating with anyone you have not met who wants to meet you.
   • Never put your last name, email address, home address, phone number, place of work or any other identifying detail in your profile or first messages. Stop writing to anyone who presses you for personal or financial information, or tries in any way to trick you into giving it.
   • If you meet another member in person, always tell a family member or friend where you are going and when you will return. Never agree to be picked up at your home. Provide your own transport, and meet in a public place with many people around.
2. Never send money to someone you have not met. Anyone who asks for a wire transfer, gift card, payment app or cryptocurrency is almost certainly a fraud. Report them to us, and at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.

7. Code of conduct

1. You agree to keep the code of conduct. You also agree not to use Isaac’s Well for anything but seeking marriage, promote anything to members, harvest profiles or messages, share your account, interfere with the site, or break the law.

8. Fees, waivers and refunds

1. The fee. Joining costs a one-time fee of [$10], paid through our payment processor, [Stripe], which holds your card details. We never do. Renewal is free. A change in the fee never applies to a fee already paid (charter 8.2).

2. Waivers. If your pastor asks us to waive your fee, it is waived, with no reason needed.

3. Refunds. Your fee is refunded in full, to the card that paid, within ten business days:

   • if you cancel as the first paragraph of these terms says;
   • if your elders do not affirm you;
   • if you die or become disabled so that you cannot use Isaac’s Well, on request, without any medical information; or
   • wherever your state’s law requires it.

   Otherwise the fee is not refunded.

4. Not a gift. The fee pays for membership and is not tax-deductible. Gifts to Isaac’s Well are not tax-deductible unless and until exemption under section 501(c)(3) is recognized (charter 1.3).

5. No one can pay to be shown more often, to rank higher, or to see who is interested in them (charter 8.3).

9. Profiles, interest and messages

1. Your profile shows only what privacy 4.1 lists, never your last name, town or contact details. You may hide it from your own church’s members or any other church you list, and from a named person (charter 5.6).
2. Interest is private until it is mutual. Then we introduce you privately. Before an introduction, each of you is told whether the other has never married, is widowed or is divorced, and whether they have children, and either may decline with no reason owed (charter 5.3).
3. The man writes first. A woman may ask that any man write first to her father or the counselor she names, through the site.
4. Messages are private, but not end-to-end encrypted. They are read only to deal with a report or fix a fault, and opening them through our tools is recorded and reviewed, as privacy 4.5 says.
5. Fraud warnings. [If the board so decides,] software may check messages for signs of fraud and warn only the person receiving them. No person reads it, and nothing is decided by it (charter 9.2).
6. Messages are like letters. A message you send stays in the conversation of those you wrote to until they leave or delete it. You may download a copy of any conversation you are part of.
7. We promise no introduction. God alone gives a husband or a wife.

10. What you post

1. Your profile, photographs and messages remain yours. You let us store, copy, resize and display them only to run Isaac’s Well, free of charge, until they are deleted. We never use them in promotion without asking you first in writing.
2. What you post must be true, of you alone, modest and yours to post. We may hide or remove anything that breaks these terms or that we judge unsafe, and tell you unless that would put someone at risk.

11. Privacy

1. We share your information only as the privacy notice describes, including with: your own elders, for affirmation; your named counselor; other members; the directors, and any stand-in or adviser asked to help, handling a report; the companies that run the site for us, under contracts of confidentiality; and the authorities, as sections 12.8 and 12.9 say (charter 9.1). We carry no advertising and no analytics or tracking scripts, and we never sell or rent your information.

12. Reports, and pausing or closing an account

1. Reporting. Report a concern with the report button, or by writing to us (section 18). Reports are acknowledged automatically. We look into every report as this section describes, normally within [two] days. We are a small, largely volunteer work and not an emergency service: in danger, call 911. Before you send a report, the form warns you plainly what the other member may notice, and where to turn first if you fear them (charter 9.3). An honest report is never punished. Only a knowingly false one breaks the code.
2. Blocking. You may block any member at any time, without a reason. They are not told, and neither of you sees the other. A report blocks contact between the two automatically. Blocking or reporting never deletes or hides the conversation from you. You can still read it, download it and report it. Steps that only keep two members apart are not findings, need no hearing, and are never reported to elders.
3. Pausing. An account may be paused at once while a report is looked into. A report involving money, a minor or threats pauses the reported member’s messaging at once, and asking any member for money is grounds for a pause. Such a pause is not a finding, and is never reported to elders (charter 9.4).
4. Hearing both sides. A member who is reported is told what was reported, and may answer, before anything is decided (Proverbs 18:17). The person who reported is not named to them. If what was reported would show who made it, the reporter chooses whether it is put to the member. If not, we may still act on what we can see for ourselves, or on a pattern of reports. Whatever we act on is put to the member, without showing who reported, and they may answer before any finding. We tell reporters: “We will not name you, but in many cases the member you report will be able to tell who you are. We will talk with you before anything is put to them.” Where a possible serious crime is reported, the member is not told until section 12.8 has been followed (charter 9.5).
5. Who decides. The directors decide; if all three must stand aside, charter 9.6 applies. The woman director, or her stand-in, reads first any report made by a woman, or about a woman if the reporter asks. Anyone close to a member involved stands aside, and a reporter may ask that a named person do so. The reporter is told whether action was taken, and may ask for a review of a decision to take none. A member whose account is closed may ask once for the directors to review it.
6. What may follow. We may warn a member, pause or close their account, or do nothing. This is not church discipline (compare Confession 26.15), and passes no judgment on anyone’s standing in Christ’s church (charter 9.7).
7. When your elders are told. If, after hearing both sides, we pause or close your account for misconduct, the person who reported is told first. Then your elders are told the kind of conduct found and what was done, so that they can care for you. They are never told the name, church, messages or identifying details of anyone who reported, without that person’s written agreement. If you are the one who reported, we ask them not to contact you or your church (charter 9.7). If both members belong to the same church, its elders are told only as this section says, and we talk with the person who reported before they are.
8. Possible serious crime means assault, abuse, stalking, threats, fraud, or anything involving a child, not rude or unwelcome conduct. We report it to the civil authorities whenever the law requires, always when a child may be at risk, and when someone is in danger of death or serious injury. We urge and help anyone harmed to go to the police, and never discourage or delay a report. The accused member’s elders are told only after the matter has been reported to the authorities, as an accusation and not a finding, and after the person harmed has been told when this will happen. They are never told while the authorities ask us to wait, or while telling them could put anyone at risk. We never arrange, or ask anyone to take part in, a meeting between the person harmed and the person reported (charter 9.8). If the law does not require a report to the authorities and the person harmed chooses not to make one, we first talk with that person, then handle the matter as sections 12.4 to 12.7 say.
9. Who else is told. If you report harm, your own elders are told only if you choose. When a court or agency demands your information, we tell you first, unless the law forbids it, the authorities ask us to wait, or telling you could put anyone at risk or hinder an investigation of harm (charter 9.9).
10. Rejoining. A report continues even if either member leaves. If your account was closed for misconduct, or you left while a report about you was open or within [12] months of a warning, or of a pause after hearing both sides, you may rejoin only if the directors agree, checked by name and date of birth (charter 9.11).
11. If someone under 18 gets in, we close the account, review its messages with adults, keep what the law requires to protect the child, and report as section 12.8 says (charter 9.12).

13. Ending membership

1. Your membership ends when you marry, leave your church or ask to leave; when your elders withdraw their affirmation, or it lapses as section 4.4 says; or when we close your account under section 12. Please tell us if you marry or leave your church.

2. Leaving and hiding. You may leave at any time. You may also hide your profile for as long as you like, and show it again while your affirmation is current.

3. Moving. If you move within the United States, nothing changes. If you move abroad, your profile is [paused] until you return or the board decides what applies to members abroad. This is not a step against you.

4. Your information. When your membership ends, your profile and photographs are deleted within [30] days (privacy 6.2). Messages you sent stay with those you wrote to (section 9.6). We keep only:

   • payment records, for [7] years;
   • anything bearing on an open report or a matter given to the authorities, until it is closed;
   • a brief record of anyone whose account was closed for misconduct, for [10] years;
   • reports you made, while the member you reported remains a member;
   • reports not borne out, for up to [12] months; and
   • the record of your acceptance of these terms and of your consents.

   Backups are overwritten within a further [60] days. We email you to confirm the deletion without your having to ask, stating exactly what was kept, why and for how long, and the date by which backups are overwritten (charter 9.10).

5. If Isaac’s Well closes, we give members at least 30 days’ notice by email, and your information is handled as privacy 4.9 says.

6. Sections 14, 15 and 17 continue after a membership ends.

14. Limits of our responsibility

1. We cannot promise that every member is who they say, or that the site will always work. Isaac’s Well is offered as it is, as far as the law allows.
2. We are not responsible for what other members say or do, on the site or off it. We look into every report as section 12 describes, normally within [two] days. We are a small, largely volunteer work and cannot prevent all harm.
3. If we are responsible to you for any loss, our total liability is limited to the greater of what you paid us and [$100]. We are not liable for indirect losses we could not reasonably have foreseen.
4. Nothing in these terms limits our liability for our own gross negligence, fraud or willful wrongdoing, or for death or injury caused by our negligence, or takes away a right your state’s law does not let you give up. If you live in New Jersey, sections 14.1 and 14.3 do not apply to you.

15. Settling disagreements

1. An invitation. In the spirit of Romans 12:18 and 1 Corinthians 6:1–8, we invite you to settle any disagreement with us peaceably, but this is not a rule for your conscience (Confession 21.2), for Isaac’s Well is not a church.
2. First, write to us (section 18), and we will try to settle it with you within 30 days.
3. Then, Christian mediation. Either of us may propose mediation by a Christian mediator we both accept, paid by Isaac’s Well. Either may end it at any time, and the mediator decides nothing.
4. Then, the courts. Either of us may go to the courts of Tennessee, or to small claims court, including where you live. Nothing in these terms gives up your right to go to court, or to join with others in a claim. Isaac’s Well will not itself take a member to court, except to seek protection from harm or where the law requires it.
5. No silence about harm. No mediation or settlement may require anyone to keep silent about harm, abuse or a possible crime, or to withdraw a report to the authorities, their church or us. Isaac’s Well never asks for such a term.
6. Your church stays out unless you agree. No elder or church of a member is contacted in mediation without that member’s written consent.
7. Nothing here delays anyone going to the police, or to a court for protection. Harm by another member is handled under section 12.

16. Changes to these terms

1. For any change that affects your rights, we email you at least 30 days ahead, saying plainly what is changing and why, and ask you to agree to it when you next sign in. If you do not agree, you may leave, and your information is deleted as section 13.4 says.
2. A change to section 15 never applies to a disagreement that began before it.
3. Small changes, such as correcting a link, take effect when posted. Earlier versions are kept.

17. Governing law and other terms

1. These terms are governed by the laws of [Tennessee] and, where it applies, federal law. A court case is brought in [the state or federal courts serving the county of Isaac’s Well’s registered office], or in small claims court where you live.
2. If any part of these terms cannot be enforced, the rest still applies.
3. You may not transfer your membership.
4. Isaac’s Well may transfer these terms only to an organization of like faith that keeps every promise in them, and your information passes only as privacy 4.9 says.
5. These terms, the code of conduct and the privacy notice are the whole agreement between you and Isaac’s Well.

18. Contact

1. [Legal name of Isaac’s Well], [postal address]. Email [hello@ address]; to cancel, [cancel@ address]; legal notices, [legal@ address].
2. To report a concern about a member, use the report button, or write to [safety@ address].

Notes for counsel

• State online dating safety acts. Each requires a safety awareness notice (section 6.1 follows the statutory examples), and the New Jersey, Illinois and Texas acts require a service that does not screen to say so in bold capitals of at least 12-point type. Section 1.1 is written for this, and is the only text in these terms set in capitals other than the New York cancellation line. Please check that the site renders it at 12 point or larger.
  • New Jersey, Internet Dating Safety Act, N.J.S.A. 56:8-168 to -174: https://www.njconsumeraffairs.gov/statutes/internet-dating-safety-act.pdf.
    • Scope: a service “in the business, for profit” (56:8-170(d)). A genuine nonprofit may fall outside it, though 56:8-169(b) treats accepting membership fees from residents as doing business in the state.
    • A “New Jersey member” gives a New Jersey “billing address or zip code” when registering (56:8-170(g)).
    • The no-screening disclosure must appear in two or more of: email, a click-through, each profile, and the sign-up page (56:8-171(b)). Section 1.3 uses three.
    • Pending: S1040 (2026) would require screening on request: https://pub.njleg.gov/Bills/2026/S1500/1040_I1.HTM. Please check whether it has passed.
  • New York, Gen. Bus. Law § 394-cc: https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/GBS/394-CC. Also limited to a service “in the business, for profit”. It requires only the safety awareness notice, at registration and linked from the main page. It has no screening disclosure. A “New York member” gives a New York billing address or zip code.
  • Illinois, 815 ILCS 518: https://ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/documents/081505180K5.htm. The definition has no profit or fee test, so it most clearly reaches Isaac’s Well. It requires the screening disclosure in two or more forms. An “Illinois member” gives an Illinois billing address or zip code.
  • Texas, Bus. & Com. Code ch. 106: https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/BC/htm/BC.106.htm. It covers a person “engaged in the business” of online dating, with no fee threshold. It requires the screening disclosure (§ 106.004) and a safety notice (§ 106.006), enforced by the attorney general only.
  • Members whose fee is waived may give no billing address. The draft gives every member every notice, which is simpler than deciding who is covered. No Tennessee statute on online dating has been found. Please survey the other states before opening.
• Dating service contract laws. Unlike the safety acts, these have no profit test and reach a $10 fee.
  • California, Civ. Code §§ 1694 to 1694.4: https://codes.findlaw.com/ca/civil-code/civ-sect-1694-2.html.
    • § 1694.2(b)(2) lets an online contract carry the cancellation statement in a stand-alone first paragraph, which is why it opens these terms, before everything else. § 1694.2(c)(2) requires the operator’s name and a cancellation email address in that paragraph, in body-size type.
    • The statute’s window is the third business day after the contract date, excluding Sundays and holidays. The draft runs it from receipt of the emailed copy and counts Monday to Friday only, which is more generous. Please confirm that is safe.
    • § 1694.3(a) requires a refund on death or disability, and lets the seller ask for a physician’s written verification. Section 8.3 asks for none, so that Isaac’s Well collects no health data (see the privacy notice’s notes on Washington’s My Health My Data Act).
    • § 1694.3(b), on relocation, does not apply to online services offered nationally. Section 13.3 is a simple courtesy instead.
    • § 1694.3(c) requires a link to safety information and a way to report other users. Sections 6 and 12 meet both.
    • § 1694.2(e): a contract that does not comply may be canceled at any time.
  • New York, Gen. Bus. Law § 394-c (“any service for a fee”): https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/GBS/394-C.
    • Subd. 7(a) and (b): three business days from physical or electronic receipt, and the capitals statement, which is reproduced verbatim after the first paragraph.
    • Subd. 7(d): a “NOTICE OF CANCELLATION” form, which promises payments back within ten business days. The form still needs drafting, and must be “attached”, which for a click-through means delivered with the emailed copy.
    • Subd. 7(e): a “Dating Service Consumer Bill of Rights” at each sale or renewal, which an online service may give by a labeled hyperlink. This page still needs drafting. Since renewal is free, please advise whether a renewal is a “renewal” that needs it again.
    • Subd. 4 (refunds where no referrals are furnished for two months or more) applies only to contracts above $25, so not to a $10 fee.
    • Subd. 2 caps a term at two years. Online services escape the price cap if each term is a year or less. Hence the one-year term in section 4.4.
    • Subd. 5: no transfer of personal information without prior written consent. Section 4.2 is that consent for the elders. Please confirm a click-through is “written” consent.
    • Subd. 5-a: a member may put the membership on hold for up to a year. Section 13.2 allows more.
    • Subd. 6: information returned or destroyed, with certification. Section 13.4 sends that confirmation unasked, and the confirmation states what was kept and why. Subd. 6 allows retention only “where required by law or court order”, so the safety retentions in section 13.4 go beyond it; see the privacy notice’s notes.
  • Florida § 501.165 is an automatic-renewal statute for service contracts, not a dating law. Renewal here is free, so it should not apply, but please confirm.
• Disputes (section 15). Binding arbitration was dropped. For a $10 membership it added cost and enforceability risk for little gain, and it sat badly with the invitation of 1 Corinthians 6. The draft offers voluntary mediation paid by Isaac’s Well, then the courts. There is no class waiver. Tennessee’s small claims are heard in general sessions court, up to $25,000 (Tenn. Code Ann. § 16-15-501(d)(1)). Section 15.5 goes beyond the federal Speak Out Act (Pub. L. 117-224, 42 U.S.C. §§ 19401 to 19404), which voids only predispute nondisclosure clauses about sexual assault and harassment: https://www.congress.gov/117/plaws/publ224/PLAW-117publ224.htm. Please advise on a sensible cap on the mediation fees Isaac’s Well will pay.
• Clickwrap. Courts enforce terms a user actively accepts by ticking a box beside a visible link, and often refuse “browsewrap”: Meyer v. Uber Technologies, Inc., 868 F.3d 66 (2d Cir. 2017); Berman v. Freedom Financial Network, LLC, 30 F.4th 849 (9th Cir. 2022). Section 2.2 requires a tick box and emails a copy. Section 16.1 asks for fresh agreement to material changes.
• Section 230. 47 U.S.C. § 230(c) generally shields Isaac’s Well as the publisher of members’ content, and protects good-faith removal: https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/47/230. Courts have narrowed it for a platform’s own design choices, so the safety design should be reviewed.
• Limits of liability (section 14). Copeland v. HealthSouth/Methodist Rehabilitation Hospital, LP, 565 S.W.3d 260 (Tenn. 2018), weighs exculpatory clauses on the totality of the circumstances: https://www.tncourts.gov/node/5441264. So section 14 does not exclude liability for injury caused by our negligence, and keeps a modest cap.
• New Jersey TCCWNA. N.J.S.A. 56:12-16 bars a consumer contract from saying a provision “may be void, unenforceable or inapplicable in some jurisdictions” without saying which provisions are or are not void in New Jersey (see Martinez-Santiago v. Public Storage, 38 F. Supp. 3d 500 (D.N.J. 2014)). Section 14.4’s last sentence names the provisions and disapplies them outright for New Jersey residents, which is the simplest compliant course. Please confirm whether New Jersey law would in fact void either, and whether the board would rather keep a narrower form.
• Age. The age of majority is 19 in Alabama and Nebraska and 21 in Mississippi. Please advise whether members of 18 to 20 there need a parent’s consent, or whether that is an acceptable risk on a $10 fee.
• Tennessee. The Tennessee Consumer Protection Act (Tenn. Code Ann. § 47-18-101 et seq.) applies to the fee. The state and the court in section 17.1 are placeholders until counsel advises.
• Open questions for the board.
  • The fee [$10], the liability cap [$100], and the contact addresses.
  • Who drafts the Notice of Cancellation form and the Bill of Rights page.
  • Whether to let software check messages for fraud (section 9.5).
  • What applies to members who live abroad (section 13.3). Charter 4.1 is not narrowed by this draft.
  • The figures in brackets: [two] days; [12] months; [30] and [60] days; [7] and [10] years; and [3] churches for a wider region. They match the charter and the privacy notice.